I am sitting here with Ava, enjoying watching Diego. Thao's Diego. The one she gave him for Christmas. Of course, our entire lives are filled with traces of him, but this one dvd Ava chose for a reason. About 3 minutes into it she says, "I want Thao." Silence. "Just kidding, Mom. I know." I quickly reassure her, "I want him, too, Ava. And it's okay to want him."
She has been expressing more. She is four now. She misses him. She is the oldest now. Our only daughter, sandwiched between 2 boys....for 6 months.
She loves to tease her mama. She likes to find something that I do not like, something that makes me squirm, and bring it into conversation. She drew a bat (icky). Well, her bat can fly to heaven. He played "come get me" and "hide and seek" with Thao. He also took a message to Thao from Ava, "When I get to heaven, we are gonna fight! Are there stores there? We need to buy new swords." She misses her pirate-fighting protector.
She is proud to pass things on to Liam from Thao. On the days that I fear he is slowly being forgotten, I am gently reminded, he is not.
Our lives are filled with loss. Big, small, re-occurring, tragic, unseen. I am so thankful for the One who is consistent, the One who is stable, my Lord who can comfort Ava when I cannot.
She has been expressing more. She is four now. She misses him. She is the oldest now. Our only daughter, sandwiched between 2 boys....for 6 months.
She loves to tease her mama. She likes to find something that I do not like, something that makes me squirm, and bring it into conversation. She drew a bat (icky). Well, her bat can fly to heaven. He played "come get me" and "hide and seek" with Thao. He also took a message to Thao from Ava, "When I get to heaven, we are gonna fight! Are there stores there? We need to buy new swords." She misses her pirate-fighting protector.
She is proud to pass things on to Liam from Thao. On the days that I fear he is slowly being forgotten, I am gently reminded, he is not.
Our lives are filled with loss. Big, small, re-occurring, tragic, unseen. I am so thankful for the One who is consistent, the One who is stable, my Lord who can comfort Ava when I cannot.