Our adoption journey has been extremely long, emotionally taxing and financially difficult.
There were definitely days that I wondered how it would all work out. I would cling to verses in the Bible about how God works it all out for good...I just wasn't sure if I would see it here on earth, or have to wait for heaven.
I know that Jesus loves my children more than I. I know that He pours down his peace and love. I know, not only because of His promises in the Bible, but because of my own experience with loss.
Losing Thao brought me to a place of trust that I never entered before. I had two choices, to lose all faith and wallow in despair, or to choose hope in Christ. Getting to the point of only needing Jesus, only having Jesus as my hope, was exactly where I needed to be. And after being in that place, I wanted to be there, a place of open hands, holding everything out to Jesus, laying everything at His feet, a place where no earthly thing mattered. That place of brokenness. Yes, that was a place I longed for. I didn't long for the pain or grief or suffering, but none of those things compare to the intimacy with Jesus we had experienced. I truly prayed for understanding of how to dwell in this place of openness in my every day life. When things began to be "normal" again. When we all began to slip back into a routine, where we are often misled by our own sense of control.
And then came our adoption.
What was supposed to be easy, straightforward and quite honestly, cut and dry 8-12 months of waiting, turned into over three years of ups and downs.
I learned to not put my faith in this world, again. I learned that the ups and downs, the hope and despair, the unknowns, were really just part of our flawed human existence. I had only one hope again, Christ. We entered into this adoption knowing full well the risks. But of course, this particular circumstance had never happened before. Still, the Lord brought us to this place and we were to follow through. He prepared our hearts as he prepared theirs. We said "yes" to each gentle whisper, thinking it would be simple, knowing it could be scary and difficult but hoping it would be beautiful and redemptive.
All were true in many ways. The process was simple: paperwork, fundraising, referrals, waiting, paperwork, etc.
The scary parts were the unknowns: health, length of time, how were they doing.
The most difficult was the wait, the continual financial burden, the wait (again) with no real answers.
The beautiful part has been watching God work. He has met our needs: financial, emotional, physical or He has brought us to a place of trust. There have been steps of faith, things that don't make sense or aren't practical in this world.
But here we are. God is redeeming this story. He has brought these two children into our lives, our family, and (finally!) our home.
We cannot wait to see what the future holds for our family. We are so thankful for these lives God has blessed us with. Our family has grown, the chaos has doubled, the joy is overflowing. Seriously. There are so many, many joy-filled moments.
And now, for the very last time, we are going to ask for your help. The expense of adoption has been more than we expected. God has provided through many different ways, and we have prayerfully considered what to do about this last amount.
We are doing one last push, one last fundraiser to try to pay off the rest of our adoption expense. So, we are labeling envelopes with numbers 1-150. We are asking for people to choose an envelope to "sponsor". Each number represents the amount to be given and every little bit helps! So for as little as $1 or as much as $150, we ask that you pray about giving whatever amount is on your heart. We also have little gifts that I will be having the kids draw for! Please do not feel obligated (I kinda feel like that should go without saying, but just in case!), there are many needs out there and we understand you don't have to look far to find a good cause, but if you feel led, please let us know the amount and we'll mark the number off our chart!
And thank you for your oh so generous support. Thank you for your prayers. Thank you for letting us into your lives!
You have all been such a huge blessing in this journey.
There were definitely days that I wondered how it would all work out. I would cling to verses in the Bible about how God works it all out for good...I just wasn't sure if I would see it here on earth, or have to wait for heaven.
I know that Jesus loves my children more than I. I know that He pours down his peace and love. I know, not only because of His promises in the Bible, but because of my own experience with loss.
Losing Thao brought me to a place of trust that I never entered before. I had two choices, to lose all faith and wallow in despair, or to choose hope in Christ. Getting to the point of only needing Jesus, only having Jesus as my hope, was exactly where I needed to be. And after being in that place, I wanted to be there, a place of open hands, holding everything out to Jesus, laying everything at His feet, a place where no earthly thing mattered. That place of brokenness. Yes, that was a place I longed for. I didn't long for the pain or grief or suffering, but none of those things compare to the intimacy with Jesus we had experienced. I truly prayed for understanding of how to dwell in this place of openness in my every day life. When things began to be "normal" again. When we all began to slip back into a routine, where we are often misled by our own sense of control.
And then came our adoption.
What was supposed to be easy, straightforward and quite honestly, cut and dry 8-12 months of waiting, turned into over three years of ups and downs.
I learned to not put my faith in this world, again. I learned that the ups and downs, the hope and despair, the unknowns, were really just part of our flawed human existence. I had only one hope again, Christ. We entered into this adoption knowing full well the risks. But of course, this particular circumstance had never happened before. Still, the Lord brought us to this place and we were to follow through. He prepared our hearts as he prepared theirs. We said "yes" to each gentle whisper, thinking it would be simple, knowing it could be scary and difficult but hoping it would be beautiful and redemptive.
All were true in many ways. The process was simple: paperwork, fundraising, referrals, waiting, paperwork, etc.
The scary parts were the unknowns: health, length of time, how were they doing.
The most difficult was the wait, the continual financial burden, the wait (again) with no real answers.
The beautiful part has been watching God work. He has met our needs: financial, emotional, physical or He has brought us to a place of trust. There have been steps of faith, things that don't make sense or aren't practical in this world.
But here we are. God is redeeming this story. He has brought these two children into our lives, our family, and (finally!) our home.
We cannot wait to see what the future holds for our family. We are so thankful for these lives God has blessed us with. Our family has grown, the chaos has doubled, the joy is overflowing. Seriously. There are so many, many joy-filled moments.
And now, for the very last time, we are going to ask for your help. The expense of adoption has been more than we expected. God has provided through many different ways, and we have prayerfully considered what to do about this last amount.
We are doing one last push, one last fundraiser to try to pay off the rest of our adoption expense. So, we are labeling envelopes with numbers 1-150. We are asking for people to choose an envelope to "sponsor". Each number represents the amount to be given and every little bit helps! So for as little as $1 or as much as $150, we ask that you pray about giving whatever amount is on your heart. We also have little gifts that I will be having the kids draw for! Please do not feel obligated (I kinda feel like that should go without saying, but just in case!), there are many needs out there and we understand you don't have to look far to find a good cause, but if you feel led, please let us know the amount and we'll mark the number off our chart!
And thank you for your oh so generous support. Thank you for your prayers. Thank you for letting us into your lives!
You have all been such a huge blessing in this journey.