The Sway In My Heart//Job Study

Who can say their faith never waivers? 

Who can say they have never asked God why?

Or doubted Him?

Or struggled to believe that He is good? 

Who can say they've never asked hard or obvious or ridiculous questions?

Or questioned circumstances in someone else's life?

What about the beggar? The homeless? The wandering soul?

But aren't we all just one of these?

At some point in all our lives, we are Job. We are Job's friend. We are in need. In despair. Questioning. Longsuffering. 

It may be black and white. Or a little grey. It may be glaring other's in the face, such as child loss or a housefire. But it may be a swaying in your heart, doubting, "am I really good enough?". It may be that silent anxiety creeping up inside, but on the outside you just look pre-occupied or anti-social. 

I have an entire devotional coming out soon about seeing people through God's eyes. I'm amazed at how well this study fits into that. (But why am I amazed? Isn't God just like that?)

So, I guess I've needed this whole thing a lot more than I even realized. But isn't that, again, true? Don't we always need God more than we know? 

Why do I come full circle? Do I have such little faith? 

And that is exactly what I pull from Job chapters 8-10. 

This sway. The back and forth conversation between Job and his friends. They have the knowledge. God is good. He is Almighty. He is GOD. Have faith, they tell Job. (chapter 8)

But Job does have faith. He had faith before. He has faith now. He knows that God is who He says He is. And Job is no less in awe of our Almighty God than His friends. And he says to them, "Indeed, I know that this is true. But how can mere mortals prove their innocence before God?"  

Accepting his desperate life, yet not. He wants to plead for mercy, and he longs for "someone to bring us together, someone to remove God's rod from me" a mediator, he says. Because he knows God and his power. He knows his place, our place on this earth. And he knows the greatness of God. 

And he cries out to our God, in this lament before his friends. 

Obviously, this is not meant to show us only good. This is meant to show us bad things happen to good people. This earth is broken and sinful and there is pain and suffering. 

And crying out to our Lord is not wrong. 

Telling Him how we feel, our doubts and thoughts and desires and questions, can be a beautiful form of worship. 

We trust Him enough.

We believe He is good. 

We see what He has done for us. He made us. He knows us. He accepts us. He perfects us. He saves us. He loves us. He is coming for us. 

Our doubts and questions and cries show our great need for Him. 

And as long as we do not stay in that place, will be used for His glory. 

As long as we come out of the depths of despair and into His arms again.

As long as we rest in the promise of His triumph. 

As long as we know full well, this world is not the end. There is more, perfection, glory, beauty ahead. If not here on earth, in heaven with Him. 

And that is worth living for. And dying for. And breathing for. And crying for. And fighting for. 

I pray that you enter into your week with fresh eyes. Whatever suffering you endure this week, it is fleeting. Our days are few. 
And whatever suffering you come across this week, sit with them. Remind them. It is fleeting. 

This whole, entire life may feel as though it can be described as longsuffering. And I am so sorry. This is not how God desired it to be. And that is why He made a way, a perfect and sinless and victorious way. 

And that is how we endure this suffering. This long, drawn out, cutting, dull pain of suffering. We choose Hope. We choose Joy. We choose Jesus.