There are so many thoughts running through my head in response to the bill that passed in Illinois regarding abortion. I guess by now you know I am pro-life. All life, the babies and the mamas and the daddies. The ones who choose parenting or adoption or even abortion. I am a believer in love. I am also a believer in right and wrong. A believer in forgiveness. And grace.
That being said, I am completely heartbroken over the decision to painfully end the precious lives we are supposed to be protecting. As parents, as humans, as adults, we are given so much power. To nurture and nourish and protect or to condemn and abuse and kill the very ones we grow inside of us. Connected to us in heart and soul and DNA. Some of us have cried over miscarriages. Some of us have held our children as they breathe their last. Some of us have begged God to let us die in their place, to take their pain and their suffering. To make things different here on earth. This reality, to change. This nightmare, to go away.
And others, out of fear or ignorance or selfishness, or weakness. Others may choose a different ending. An ending instead of a beginning. As I stare at the face of my sleeping toddler, as I listen to my older children bicker and laugh and fuss at each other and play hard and love hard and ask a million questions, I know parenting isn’t for the faint of heart. Parenting is hard business. Parenting begs you to die to self, become something you have never become before. Parenting is loving real. Loving hard. Loving deep. Loving always. Maybe we are weak. Maybe we are scared. Maybe we are selfish. Maybe we are broken. Maybe we are unqualified. But maybe that’s okay.
Parenting isn’t for the perfect ones. Parenting is for the broken ones. The hurt ones. The scared ones to walk brave.
Let me tell you, I am all of those things, too. I am paralyzed by fear and anxiety sometimes. I get things wrong all the time. I try my best. I mess up. I apologize and I live in grace.
You can, too, dear mamas. The ones who chose parenting. The ones who chose adoption. The ones who chose abortion. You can live in this, with the rest of us. We are broken, too. We are scared. We are walking into the fear with brave hearts, begging for more. More understanding of this hard world.
I can’t always put myself in your shoes, but I would love to hear your story. I would love the chance to listen well and love with abandon. I would love the chance to come along side you and help you choose life, even if you don’t choose parenting. Those mamas are some of the bravest ones. The ones who feebly walk towards fear and pain and suffering only to give so much away.
I wish I could say I will hold you up. I wish I could take the anger from your heart and replace it with anything else. I wish I could just do something for someone. I wish I could make things better and take away your pain.
To the very ones we are meant to protect and cherish, I’m so sorry. Sweet babies, if I could only kiss your cheeks, smell your heads, whisper how much you are loved. I would do it over and over again. I’d promise to love you as long as I lived. I’d pray over you, sing to you, and chase after you.
I’d comfort you and feed you and greet you with open arms in the sleepless nights. Little ones, I may not be your mama, but I promise to fight hard for you. I may not carry you as my own, I may never know your name, but I promise to remember you.
To the women in tough spaces, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry you are frightened and unsure. I wish you didn’t feel alone. I wish you knew how much you were loved. I hope that you find strength to walk brave. To know love. To be loved. To show love. You have so much power. To choose life. To give life. To bless. If you haven’t made your choice yet, I beg you to choose life. Choose hope. Choose brave, through fear.
To the ones who’ve made that choice. I beg of you, choose forgiveness. Choose love. Choose grace. Choose to live well your one life, overcoming your own story and becoming more. More brave. More love.