Living In The In Between // What We Should Do In The Wait

Contentment doesn't come naturally to me. I don't settle well. I feel like I am always, whether by choice or chance, waiting for the next thing.

Waiting to marry Jeff, waiting to buy a house, waiting to have babies, waiting to fix up the house, sell the house, move. Waiting for Thao to get better. Waiting for healing. Waiting to make sense of things. Waiting for our adopted kids to come home. Waiting...

Waiting to meet financial goals. Waiting to travel more. Waiting for chickens and goats. Waiting for the time to write, to volunteer. Waiting for the kids to be more independent.

It's so difficult for me not to think ahead to the next thing. I can rest. I can enjoy these moments as my family changes and grows, but simply put, I've felt like I'm living in the in between. Between heaven and earth. Life and death. Breakfast and supper. Morning and night. Infants and teenagers. Joy and grief.

I'm waiting for the place where I can rest freely. Where I can give generously without worry. Where I no longer have the to-do list but the time and rhythm and routine of life makes sense, under control, managed.

For years I lived in the waiting.

I woke up this morning and read 1 Corinthians 1.

I honestly don't know what to do with this normal life. This normal routine. We still have goals and dreams but they seem more settled now. Less crazy. More mediocre. Less bold.

What if God wants this for me? A simple life.

What if what I am waiting on is God himself? 1 Corinthians 1:7-9 says "Therefore you do not lack any spiritual gift as you eagerly wait for our Lord Jesus Christ to be revealed. He will also keep you firm to the end, so that you will be blamess on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is faithful, who has called you into fellowship with his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord."

I'm sorry, what?

I will lack nothing as I eagerly wait for the Lord.

Because he is all good things. He is I AM.

I sway. My faith sways. My strength gives out. My patience runs thin. I fail. I am weak.

And he will keep me. firm. to. the. end. So that I can be with him in glory. I can be seen as blameless. Not because I am faithful (I'm not) but because he is.

So what do I do in the in between? as I wait for earthly plans and goals to be met? as I wait for healing? as I look forward to children coming home and growing old and paying off debt and traveling more? what do I do with this time of normal? the time I no longer feel in between? the simple, everday: washing dishes and doing laundry and conving children to do their chores?

I am still waiting. Waiting for hope? Waiting for love? Waiting for more?

Yes, waiting for more. Of everything good and perfect. No, waiting for Perfect, for Hope, for Love in perfection, in heaven, in Jesus.

As you wait...for the test results, for the answers, for the ashes to become beautiful...this is not the end. We have not arrived. This normal, simple, calm season of life isn't it. We still wait. We are still living and breathing in the in between. And it is good. Because he is good. Because he is faithful.

Even when we sway. When we fail. When we fall. When we are weak and confused or make the wrong choices. When our plans just don't work out the way we expect them to...remember his plan. To rescue. To love. To some day...bring you home.

What do we do in the wait?

We turn our face to him.

What do we do in the normal?

We turn our face to him.