It reminds me of one of those games. kind of like, what would you take to a deserted island? Only this time, you have all the stuff in your house and you are stuck. You don’t have to ask if you get to take your people (always my first question in that game) because no worries, they are right there with you breathing down your neck. Take a step back, you shouldn’t be that close in a quarantine, friends. Child, I shouldn’t feel your breath on my back as I scroll through my phone. Please blow directly on your food if it’s hot, not the surrounding occupants or table. Wash your hands! Cover. Cover. COVER! Don’t share. Wipe down the handles, pop all the vitamins. (Ok, some of you are hoarding toilet paper, but did anyone else stock up on vitamin C, tissues, cough meds and fever reducers? Just me? okay.) The laundry piles up because now we are home all the time and the towels carry germs and need changed multiple times per day. Using wash rags more than wipes because we don’t want to run out. And don’t even get me started on the dishes.
Okay, to be honest, this isn’t actually out of the norm for me. I stay home with my bunch of kids. I homeschool them. I am with them 24/7. And I have a rhythm. We have a routine that I hate to stray from. It works really well for us, with bigs and little (oh that last baby!). It’s a rhythm that took a bit of time to establish, some trial and error, some big changes, some small ones. Sometimes I need to learn to be more flexible. Sometimes I need to be a little more strict to a schedule. We live by more of a rhythm than a schedule. That’s what I think will make or break me in a quarantine. Finding the balance, letting go of go with the flow, letting go of rigid schedules and letting go of perfect expectations.
Let’s start there.
This doesn’t have to be hell on earth, being stuck in a quarantine for multiple days (or weeks). Rearrange that mindset. We’ll figure this out. With realistic expectations, we can now move forward. There will be hard days. It doesn’t have to be all fun and games. It also doesn’t have to be all work and no play. And good grief, you do not have to entertain your children the entire time. Let’s let them be bored. Let their minds wander. Let them strengthen their muscles of play, of imagination, of freedom to be kids.
Also, balance. Let’s lay out our expecations of them clearly. Clean up after yourselves. Limited screen time. Screen time only after the chores/school work is done, etc. Pitch in, we are a family. Sports, church, friends, art class, etc. is canceled. Tuck-in, it’s family time. Let them adjust, let them be sad. And then let them be free to choose something they want to do that in a normal routine they just don’t have time for.
Don’t expect perfection. Whatever rhythm you set out to achieve in your family, make space for change. Have a list of activities you want to do, but don’t hold tight to the time frame. Assign a time each day that you choose from the list. Have 30 minutes? We can read a few chapters of that book. Research bald eagles, make cookies, have tea time, build a lego house. Let the kids add to the list. Some things will be so simple, like making their favorite meal together. Some things may be more extragant, but you get the idea.
Our school day rhythm varies depending on the day.
Here’s what a typical week looks like for my bigs.
Monday rhythm
7/7:30 - wake-up and start their morning stuff*
8:30/9:00 - start school with our together time (scripture, read alouds- literature, science, history, geography,etc)
10/10:30 - independent work (math, reading, piano, handwriting)
11:30 /11:45- lunch
12:10 - load up and leave to drop littles off
1:00-3:00 - art class
3:45-home (snack, finish school as needed, free time)
Tuesday-Thursday rhythm
7/7:30 - wake up, morning stuff
8:30/9:00 - school (together time again, longer read aloud time, etc)
10/10:30- independent work (math, reading, piano, computer classes, language, writing assignments, handicraft)
11:30/12:00 - lunch (in cold weather we typically watch something educational at this point, historical or nature documetaries)
1:00 - finish school as needed, quiet activities or outside free time (Luca’s naptime)
4:45ish we do a 10-minute cleanup just to keep up with our house
5:30/6:00 - dinner
Friday rhythm
7/7:30- wake up, morning stuff
8:30/9:00- school (together time- scripture, poetry, read-alouds, tea time)
I interrupted Liam’s song. I love having the electronic piano. They plug headphones in and play any time of day!
10/10:30- independent work (Fridays are mostly reading days. Finishing work that didn’t get done, projects, etc. and piano and math games)
Most Fridays they get done early and we get our housecleaning mostly done before lunch. But, if not, we finish after naptime. For housecleaning, I write the jobs on the chalkboard and they choose one, initial it, complete it and then come back for another one. I work alongside them, initially mine, too. Once it’s done, I check everything over and we do something fun!
I also use the board to write down their independent work so they can initial it when they are done and I can check it.
The kids also do one job each day and that varies depending on what needs done. It would include vacuuming, bathroom chores, babysitting, etc. They also have charts on the fridge to keep track of whose turn it is for certain jobs that just need to get done: unload dishwasher, feed pets, take out trash. Sometimes everything needs done at the same time and it just happens to fall on one person. But that just means that kid gets a break from all those things for a while. haha. It works out. Also, if they forget to move the magnet to the next name, they just have to do that job again. They’ve gotten pretty good at moving it!
Crusoe playing the roli.
Their screen time is not a set amount of time. Some days they watch a lot of tv, play a lot of games, etc. Other days not at all. I try to have at least one day a week where we don’t do screens at all. Most days I give them 30-60 minutes of games and we watch something together at night. In between there, they typically have to entertain themselves. Often they play legos, games, go outside, do art, read, bake and play music. On weekends they don’t have to do piano, but we find that they want to do it! They also have the option of practicing their other instruments (thanks to yousician all our lessons are online and amazing!) such as ukelele, finger drums (melodics on the roli) vocals, and soon we’ll add guitar. We also go to the library once every 2 weeks or more and stock up on books. They can read on their kindles, too. I found in the winter kindle unlimited was a great resource! They have hundreds of books for kids and adults that you can borrow (like a library) for only $10 a month. It was a lifesaver when we traveled!
You might be thinking, my kids only want to play video games or watch youtube. I get it. Screens suck us all in. And when kids have been at school all day, or busy all day, and parents have, too, we often fall back on what’s available, what’s easy, what’s comforting. We may think vegging out in front of the tv is the ultimate form of comfort. I’m not saying it’s bad. It’s definitely one of my favorite activites, but doing that all the time is unhealthy. And now, let’s face it, our schedules have been cleared for us. We now have time to clean out that closet, make bread from scratch, read that book and learn that new craft. We also have time for conversations with our kids, to set the example of faith, hope, love and joy over fear, panic, greed, and despair. We can get into the Word. We have time for eye contact with our kids, to play that game we got for Christmas, look through old family photos or videos, tell stories, write them down.
I want to encourage you to take a couple of days and detox. I need this, too. Let’s detox from the screens and show our kids how to use this time well. It will be painful at first, but refreshing in the end.
Don’t waste the time you’ve been given. Let’s lean-in to the quarantine. Embrace it as a gift. It may take a few days of trial and error, of restarts, of losing our cool and apologizing, but we can get through this as better parents, closer families and with more trust in our heavenly Father.
I would love to hear some of your ideas and tips for staying home! Please share with me!
For more ideas, join my email list! I’ll be sharing more ideas and links this week.
*morning stuff- we use an app called allowance bot. They each have a list of things to get done and they check it off. Then I either approve or disapprove each item depending on how well it’s done, timeliness, etc. Our general list includes: get dressed, make bed, tidy room, eat breakfast, brush teeth, deodorant, clean up after themselves, laundry chores (they each are assigned a day to do their laundry). This has helped me so much! I felt like I was nagging everyday before school. Are you dressed yet? Why are you playing around? Where are your…? Now, they check their list and they have no excuse (I forgot, I didn’t hear you, etc). If they don’t get it done before school, they have to do it after school and lose the chance to get paid for it. It may seem silly to pay them for their morning routine. It’s essentially how we just decide if they get their allowance or not. They also have the opportunity to earn extra money throughout the week if we need things done.
The girls doing art with Bob Ross on Netlfix.