If I had known it was the last, would that have changed a thing? Would I have said yes more? Put down my phone? Pulled him close? Hugged tighter? Never let go?
Would I have gone out of my way to bless someone? Would I have put off the dishes, the laundry, the chores in exchange for coffee and conversation with a friend?
You may have thought at the beginning of this I was talking about the loss of my son. I was. But grief for him quickly turns into grief for us, for the losses we’ve endured, the plans we had, the dreams that were shattered.
This unseen virus, this invisible germ, it resembles a time when we were fighting the invisible. It had a stronghold in our lives. It ruled us. We feared the unknown. We feared the normal. We fought hard to protect him. We didn’t know that day was our last. We didn’t know that day in November when he wanted to ride a bike and we dashed to Great-Papa’s before dark, would be the last.
And then our world was shaken, turned upside and placed back down cracked and broken. And I left the hospital asking, “what now?”
Just as the disciples asked “what now?” after Jesus died. Just as every other human being asks “what now?” as their worlds implode, as our plans shatter. As we fight a battle of the unseen, the unknown, the uncertain. The uncertain. The uncertainty of this broken world is possibly the most certain thing of this earth. Because our Lord is not of this earth, he is above all. He is above all this earth. He is above all this unknown. He is above all this unseen. He is unseen, but he is known. He is certain. He is steadfast. He is stable. He is not safe, but he is sure. He is the ultimate Healer, Redeemer and Friend. He is healing for our broken heart. He is peace for our troubled souls. He is strength for our weary hearts. He is joy for our sorrow. He is with us, when we feel alone. He is I AM.
Almighty. Powerful. Our Redeemer lives. Resurrected One. Conquering Death. Overcoming Fears. He wins. He wins. He won.
We just haven’t arrived yet. We are not there. We look forward to the day, the coming day with the coming King. We look forward with eager anticipation and joyful hearts to the day when death doesn’t sting, when wrong is made right, when dark is made light. And we can truly see.
His glory and his plan.
But right now? Right now were are living in the in between. Between the Resurrection and the Coming Day. Because the Promise and Heaven. Between morning and night. But the good news? The good news is we are living in the in between with the gift of his Holy Spirit. We are not alone, what glorious day! We are living in between the shoulder blades of his steadfast love and faithfulness. He carries us.
He carries us through the unseen, the unknown, the uncertain. With his certainty and strength and love.
Is it safe here? This world is unsafe. We suffer and grieve and cry. We hunger and thirst and in pain we mourn and weep. But the safe part is coming. The King is coming.
Hold on to that hope. Because the virus, the illness, the unseen germs cannot compare to our Lord.
We fight fear with joy. We fight evil with good. We fight darkness with light. We fight hard. We fight strong. We fight weary. We fight with. With the great I AM. With our brothers and sisters in Christ. Together we fight the battle, physical, emotional spiritual. Together we fight because we know who wins the war.
Be encouraged today, on day 32, quarantine may feel isolating, but we are not alone. Do not give up or give in to the fears of the unknown, but believe that whatever the future holds, we can choose to rest in the Lord’s hands. We can choose joy, fight for joy.
