He was the start of our day....
We had a rule. He could not go downstairs until 7:00 each morning. You see, if we let him get up earlier one day, it would be even earlier the next and so on. Eventually we just made the rule about 7:00. He would come in early most days and snuggle before then. Or there were other days when I would wake up in a panic because he hadn't come in, only to find that he was asleep with Jack (the dog) on his dog bed. In the summer, he would often start out in pajamas and end up with only his underwear on. (Probably the only time he willingly wore underwear!) In the winter, he was often wearing his favorite pajamas, a plain yellow sleeper, wellworn loved. They weren't soft on the outside, but they were on the inside and that's what mattered! They were just worn enough that he could "skate" all over the floors. There was just enough room in them to stuff entire packages of crackers down the legs, only to be discovered later by me when I pulled them out of the laundry hamper. When I asked him why the legs of his jammies were filled with pieces of crackers, he simply responded "just in case I get hungry". Things with him were logical and planned and mostly revolved around food. He ate at least a 3 course breakfast, always eating the same things for a couple of weeks at a time before moving on to a new phase. He was very particular about the way things were. He really only liked the way I made his oatmeal (even though Jeff and I made it the same way, he was convinced mine was better and I didn't argue!) We always watched one episode of Curious George with breakfast.
He is often still the start of my day. Sometimes the first thought takes my breath away or makes my heart race, but I am practicing making it a good thing. Like, trying to remember with a smile Jack and Thao curled up on the floor next to me or his little voice asking for more food. It is also a wonderful reminder that I NEED to start my day with Jesus. I cannot remember with joy or properly grieve with sadness, without leaning on Christ. I just cannot. I still can't think very far ahead, and it's still hard to fathom that 2 years have gone by. It's so brutally harsh, yet I feel triumphant that I have survived (not alone). But I am still living a life that hopefully points my children to Christ and hope and fills them with good memories and a stable childhood despite the sadness that living in this world will bring.
I am so thankful for everyone that mentions him. For those that knew him or didn't, I am so thankful for your prayers and support. Just the fact that you take time to say something to us, means so much. Thank you for not sheltering your children, but celebrating Thao's life with them. His life, every life, is something to celebrate. Today, we celebrate with dinosaurs and donuts, smiles through tears and hopefully many good memories.
We had a rule. He could not go downstairs until 7:00 each morning. You see, if we let him get up earlier one day, it would be even earlier the next and so on. Eventually we just made the rule about 7:00. He would come in early most days and snuggle before then. Or there were other days when I would wake up in a panic because he hadn't come in, only to find that he was asleep with Jack (the dog) on his dog bed. In the summer, he would often start out in pajamas and end up with only his underwear on. (Probably the only time he willingly wore underwear!) In the winter, he was often wearing his favorite pajamas, a plain yellow sleeper, well
He is often still the start of my day. Sometimes the first thought takes my breath away or makes my heart race, but I am practicing making it a good thing. Like, trying to remember with a smile Jack and Thao curled up on the floor next to me or his little voice asking for more food. It is also a wonderful reminder that I NEED to start my day with Jesus. I cannot remember with joy or properly grieve with sadness, without leaning on Christ. I just cannot. I still can't think very far ahead, and it's still hard to fathom that 2 years have gone by. It's so brutally harsh, yet I feel triumphant that I have survived (not alone). But I am still living a life that hopefully points my children to Christ and hope and fills them with good memories and a stable childhood despite the sadness that living in this world will bring.
I am so thankful for everyone that mentions him. For those that knew him or didn't, I am so thankful for your prayers and support. Just the fact that you take time to say something to us, means so much. Thank you for not sheltering your children, but celebrating Thao's life with them. His life, every life, is something to celebrate. Today, we celebrate with dinosaurs and donuts, smiles through tears and hopefully many good memories.