"Is he quite safe?"
"Safe?" Said Mr. Beaver. "Who said anything about safe? 'Course he isn't safe. But he's good. He's the King, I tell you."
-C.S. Lewis, The Chronicles of Narnia
Safe. I always go for the "safe" choice.
I weigh my options. I think about what makes sense. I pray about it. I want to do what God leads me to do. I want to say yes to him. I believe that is the safe choice.
When we considered adoption I didn't want to wait for a child that I needed. Jeff and I prayed for, longed for and wanted to go where WE were needed. We were ready to provide a family to a child that didn't have one. I wanted to be a mom to a child that lost.
I knew that adoption always started in loss, in hurt. I understand loss and hurt. I experience loss and hurt.
In December 2012 our home study was complete for domestic adoption. Something didn't settle right though and by January 2013, we switched to international adoption, the DRC. I remember telling my dear friend that I just wanted to do the "safe" thing and adopt a child that was waiting. I was thankful that God was calling us to that.
We found what we thought was the biggest need. There were children WAITING for us. We knew we could provide a home for them and the process was quick.
Domestic adoption, we were told, could take years. We didn't want to wait years. That didn't make sense to me to wait years when we could provide a family to a child that didn't have one, NOW.
God lead us to adoption. To DRC. To our kids.
We know for certain. But we didn't when we started. We said yes to foster care. To domestic adoption. To DRC.
We are here, 2.5 years later...still waiting. But still saying yes.
It's not safe.
I didn't know then what I would experience.
I didn't know then the loss I would feel watching them grow up in pictures.
I didn't know then the love I could have in my heart for children I've only known through pictures.
I didn't know the enormous amount of heartache, the decisions, the longing, the hopelessness, the tears, the parental love....
I didn't know the emotional sacrifice, the physical toll.
I didn't know we'd still be waiting.
It's not safe. But it's good.
It's good to be with God. It's good to be so dependent on His grace. It's good to be here. As hard as that is to say, it is good, because HE is good.
And whatever the future holds, He is STEADFAST. In my ever changing life, I cling to that steadfast goodness, the grace of God, that will strongly hold me, even when everything around me is crumbling (or feels like it.)
"We care for orphans not because we are rescuers, but because we are the rescued." -David Platt (lifesongfororphans.org)
"Safe?" Said Mr. Beaver. "Who said anything about safe? 'Course he isn't safe. But he's good. He's the King, I tell you."
-C.S. Lewis, The Chronicles of Narnia
Safe. I always go for the "safe" choice.
I weigh my options. I think about what makes sense. I pray about it. I want to do what God leads me to do. I want to say yes to him. I believe that is the safe choice.
When we considered adoption I didn't want to wait for a child that I needed. Jeff and I prayed for, longed for and wanted to go where WE were needed. We were ready to provide a family to a child that didn't have one. I wanted to be a mom to a child that lost.
I knew that adoption always started in loss, in hurt. I understand loss and hurt. I experience loss and hurt.
In December 2012 our home study was complete for domestic adoption. Something didn't settle right though and by January 2013, we switched to international adoption, the DRC. I remember telling my dear friend that I just wanted to do the "safe" thing and adopt a child that was waiting. I was thankful that God was calling us to that.
We found what we thought was the biggest need. There were children WAITING for us. We knew we could provide a home for them and the process was quick.
Domestic adoption, we were told, could take years. We didn't want to wait years. That didn't make sense to me to wait years when we could provide a family to a child that didn't have one, NOW.
God lead us to adoption. To DRC. To our kids.
We know for certain. But we didn't when we started. We said yes to foster care. To domestic adoption. To DRC.
We are here, 2.5 years later...still waiting. But still saying yes.
It's not safe.
I didn't know then what I would experience.
I didn't know then the loss I would feel watching them grow up in pictures.
I didn't know then the love I could have in my heart for children I've only known through pictures.
I didn't know the enormous amount of heartache, the decisions, the longing, the hopelessness, the tears, the parental love....
I didn't know the emotional sacrifice, the physical toll.
I didn't know we'd still be waiting.
It's not safe. But it's good.
It's good to be with God. It's good to be so dependent on His grace. It's good to be here. As hard as that is to say, it is good, because HE is good.
And whatever the future holds, He is STEADFAST. In my ever changing life, I cling to that steadfast goodness, the grace of God, that will strongly hold me, even when everything around me is crumbling (or feels like it.)
"We care for orphans not because we are rescuers, but because we are the rescued." -David Platt (lifesongfororphans.org)