Would I still sing His praises if this were all of His plan? Could I speak of the goodness of God if my kids never came home? Would I share how GREAT my God is if I had nothing left?
I want to say yes. I want to say I've been in the depths of despair and still praised Him. I have been able to speak of His goodness in hard times, in mourning, in loss. But I have never lost every thing.
Would I still praise my good God if I had no thing left?
Would I still revel in His grace and love and mercy if I lost it all, if I had no one?
God is working hard on my heart. My season is a time of rest, to be at His feet. There is renewal here. Redemption. There is peace. And contentment.
I'm not supposed to worry about tomorrow, or what is next in life. Be still.
I do not see the whole picture, the plan, but I am to rest in His unfailing, trustworthy arms. and know that I AM GOD.
So what if THIS is it. What if THIS life, right now, the simple, the small, the gentleness of just being, is all my earthly life will ever be?
Shattered dreams. Harsh reality. Loss. His ways are not my ways.
I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint. Jeremiah 31:25
Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him. Psalm 37:7a
Hope. Unfathomable peace. Unexplainable joy.
This is what the Soverign Lord, the Holy One of Israel, says, "In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength but you would have none of it." Isaiah 30:15
I don't want to meet Jesus and for Him to say "but you would have none of it".
I will rest in this season of rest. I will allow the quietness to fill my soul. I will have my strength renewed in Christ, because He promised this to me. Daily, I have to choose.
To be at His feet.
Some days I crave adventure. I think about Africa and orphans, and abandoned comfort and giving it all up to GO and DO. And if I chose that life right now, I would be wrong to do those things. Because doing good might make me a good person, but it doesn't make me a godly person. And right now, my God wants me to be here, resting, being still, being present with my family.
Is this the calm before the storm?
Yes, it is.
I know this because in life there will always be storms, little or big, good stress or bad.
In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. John 16:33b
And in my life there are seasons of doing and seasons of being. Lord, may I always hear your gentle whispers, may I trust your unfailing love, may I say yes to the seasons.
and in all of them, may Your joy fill my soul.
