written five days after our house fire.
"It could have been much worse. It has been much worse."
These were my words as I watched our house burn.
I have prayed for a heart for eternal things. I have prayed to hold loosely the thing of this world. It seemed like an easy thing to do after losing my child.
I've discovered something as I sort through our possessions, as I throw my children's "treasures" out like garbage. I've found I held onto more things than I ever knew.
Sweet painted handprints. Stuffed animals. Toys received through Thao's bartering skills. My wedding dress.
But as I sort through and put memory after memory into a dumpster, I pray. I pray for peace and strength. For wisdom. For my children. But mostly I pray that my memories stay fresh inside me. That I will not forget Thao's voice or chubby hands.
And as I pray, I am comforted because Thao doesn't desire these earthly treasures. He hasn't for so long. I don't want to desire them, especially above Jesus.
Beauty from Ashes
It's like Jesus whispers to me "
Don't you think I have even better things for you."
It's the same whisper I have heard over and over again for two months now.
"Don't you think, don't you
know
, I have even better things for ?"
"There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind." -CS Lewis
The Lord truly has better things for us. It's not today or tomorrow, maybe it's not even in this lifetime. But there are eternal things, heavenly things, that I have been promised as a child of God. And they are far, far better than any earthly thing.
There is much more to process. Much more to physically do. But I ask of you one thing, please pray. Pray for physical strength, pray for crisp, sharp memories for years to come. Pray for our children here and in Congo.
And this is how we try to do a little "normal" in the midst of chaos.