It is a daily battle. Many days I feel as though I am fighting a war. A war for my children.
Each day is a new day. A fresh start, a new adventure, with new battles with victories and losses.
For my children in my home...I pray for them. I pour into them. I treasure them. I desire for honest, competent, wise, strong, bold, gentle, humble, godly children. We are human. Our first instincts are not these things. No one told me how much prayer it takes to raise children. No one told me how little sleep you get and how much time you spend on your knees.
As I was unpacking boxes I came across a little plaque I had in my kitchen. I got it right before Thao got sick.
One day at a time. That's all we can do.
Matthew 6:34 says, "Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."
For my children in Congo...I pray for them. I pray for people to pour love into their lives. I pray for healing for their hearts. I pray for a super-natural understanding and peace of the situation. I pray for safety. I treasure what I know of them. I ache for them and I worry. I read news articles and I long for them to be here with me, safe in my arms. No one told me how much prayer goes into adoption. No one told me the ache in your heart for children that you call your own, that have your last name. For children that were born to another, yet truly have grown in our hearts. For two and a half years now I have called these children my own. Yet, I am not the one to comfort them or call them by name. I am not the one to discipline them or assure them. I am the one that waits, that worries and prays. I am fighting a spiritual battle for their lives. Each day I wonder what they are doing and if they are safe.
The battle belongs to the Lord. He loves them more than I do.
For my Thao...I ache for him. I long to be close to him again. And I will. I think about him when I wake up. When I see dinosaurs or donuts or puppies. I think about his smile and laughter when I hear my other children playing with their daddy. I often choke back tears. I never stop thinking about my boy. The hole in my heart is large but the comfort from the Lord is great. And I no longer have to worry or pray for my Thao. He is safe. He is secure in our Savior's arms. He is with his Creator, the one who loves him more than I. He is with three other siblings. He met them first. One day we will be reunited and it will be the most perfect reunion.
2 Samuel 12:23 says "But now he is dead. Why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he will not return to me."
This is not a hopeless verse. This verse if full of hope, of eternity with Christ, of a glorious reunion. I will see my Thao again.
For my future child...the battle is real. We are living one day at a time and each day is very different. We do not know the outcome of each day or even each decision we make. But we go to Him in prayer for wisdom and guidance. And today, now, we are stepping out in faith again. We are ready again to adopt. We know our Congo children will come home some day. We know this means we will have five children in our home. But Baby #9 (technically) will be a blessing to our family. We have updated our domestic home study. This means we will be showing our profile to birth moms and waiting on one to choose our family. This means we can spread the word to you all. This means we are praying for a courageous girl or woman to choose life for her baby. We are excited to see where God leads. To answer questions that I am sure will follow: timeline is anytime really. Domestic adoption can go quickly or take a while. It mostly depends on what we are open to as far as gender, special needs, etc. We are open to quite a few special needs including Down Syndrome and limb differences. Gender and race do not matter to us. We are excited to be blessed with another child. I am praying for abundant blessings, for God to be evident in all things, for direction and wisdom in making decisions.
And again, we wait.
Psalm 27:14 says "Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD!"
I am praying for courage for "our" birth mom. I am sure she is scared and left wondering what to do. I don't know her, but I pray that wherever she is, the Lord is close to her.
I am praying that I remember God's sovereignty in this wait.
Please pray with us!
Each day is a new day. A fresh start, a new adventure, with new battles with victories and losses.
For my children in my home...I pray for them. I pour into them. I treasure them. I desire for honest, competent, wise, strong, bold, gentle, humble, godly children. We are human. Our first instincts are not these things. No one told me how much prayer it takes to raise children. No one told me how little sleep you get and how much time you spend on your knees.
As I was unpacking boxes I came across a little plaque I had in my kitchen. I got it right before Thao got sick.
One day at a time. That's all we can do.
Matthew 6:34 says, "Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."
For my children in Congo...I pray for them. I pray for people to pour love into their lives. I pray for healing for their hearts. I pray for a super-natural understanding and peace of the situation. I pray for safety. I treasure what I know of them. I ache for them and I worry. I read news articles and I long for them to be here with me, safe in my arms. No one told me how much prayer goes into adoption. No one told me the ache in your heart for children that you call your own, that have your last name. For children that were born to another, yet truly have grown in our hearts. For two and a half years now I have called these children my own. Yet, I am not the one to comfort them or call them by name. I am not the one to discipline them or assure them. I am the one that waits, that worries and prays. I am fighting a spiritual battle for their lives. Each day I wonder what they are doing and if they are safe.
The battle belongs to the Lord. He loves them more than I do.
For my Thao...I ache for him. I long to be close to him again. And I will. I think about him when I wake up. When I see dinosaurs or donuts or puppies. I think about his smile and laughter when I hear my other children playing with their daddy. I often choke back tears. I never stop thinking about my boy. The hole in my heart is large but the comfort from the Lord is great. And I no longer have to worry or pray for my Thao. He is safe. He is secure in our Savior's arms. He is with his Creator, the one who loves him more than I. He is with three other siblings. He met them first. One day we will be reunited and it will be the most perfect reunion.
2 Samuel 12:23 says "But now he is dead. Why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he will not return to me."
This is not a hopeless verse. This verse if full of hope, of eternity with Christ, of a glorious reunion. I will see my Thao again.
For my future child...the battle is real. We are living one day at a time and each day is very different. We do not know the outcome of each day or even each decision we make. But we go to Him in prayer for wisdom and guidance. And today, now, we are stepping out in faith again. We are ready again to adopt. We know our Congo children will come home some day. We know this means we will have five children in our home. But Baby #9 (technically) will be a blessing to our family. We have updated our domestic home study. This means we will be showing our profile to birth moms and waiting on one to choose our family. This means we can spread the word to you all. This means we are praying for a courageous girl or woman to choose life for her baby. We are excited to see where God leads. To answer questions that I am sure will follow: timeline is anytime really. Domestic adoption can go quickly or take a while. It mostly depends on what we are open to as far as gender, special needs, etc. We are open to quite a few special needs including Down Syndrome and limb differences. Gender and race do not matter to us. We are excited to be blessed with another child. I am praying for abundant blessings, for God to be evident in all things, for direction and wisdom in making decisions.
And again, we wait.
Psalm 27:14 says "Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD!"
I am praying for courage for "our" birth mom. I am sure she is scared and left wondering what to do. I don't know her, but I pray that wherever she is, the Lord is close to her.
I am praying that I remember God's sovereignty in this wait.
Please pray with us!