I learned about abortion when I was around seven years old. My heart ached for these innocent babies. I wanted to raise them myself. I desired to let them each know that they were wanted and loved. I knew how to change diapers and rock babies. I knew how precious each little life was. I could barely keep my focus on normal little girl things once I learned about this tragedy. I was sad. I was also determined to one day hold a baby and call him my own. A baby whose brave first mommy chose life out of courage, instead of death out of desperation or fear. I decided that when I was seven years old.
Today I am praying for this opportunity. The Lord knows the desires of my heart. Even more than that I believe He placed this desire in my heart almost 25 years ago. I believe I'm on the verge of seeing this dream come true. For 25 years I have prayed, in general, for these babies. Now, I am praying for my baby. A baby that may or may not even be created yet. A baby that I have growing in my heart. A baby that I share with his or her birth family. A baby whose brave mommy is about to choose life. A baby that will get to grow up in this crazy, chaotic, fun family. A baby who will have a family forever, unconditional love, and life. A baby who will always know he/she is wanted and loved and chosen, by both his or her birth mom and by us.
I read this blog today. She's right, ya know. My family (extended included) is proof that people are not only willing but wanting, desperately desiring to adopt a baby. It takes a very courageous birth mom to choose life for her baby. An unexpected pregnancy can be scary and possibly lonely. I wish I could speak into these mama's lives to tell them they are not alone. I pray that somehow they embrace the whisper of peace the Lord offers. I pray tonight another mama chooses life.
My first baby was beautiful. I'm sure of it. Although I never held my baby, I believe he or she was created with purpose. Ten years ago this month, that baby went to be with Jesus. I still grieve that baby. Not the same way I once did. Not the same way I grieve for Thao or even my other two miscarriages. There was something about my first baby that was different. She was our only "surprise" baby. She gave us hope. She was immediately loved and is often missed. And if it weren't for her short life, her beating heart inside of me for 16 weeks, we never would have had Thao.
I cannot explain how or why events happen the way they do. I just know that God can and will allow us to see the blessings in the midst of heart ache. If there is a dear sweet mama reading this today, if you feel alone and scared and desperate, I pray that reading this gives you a glimpse of hope. I pray that you see, that you know you are anything but alone. I pray you choose life for the beating heart inside of you, the extension of your life, the tiny one depending on you, the blessing created inside of you. There are many unknowns and fears with parenting, no matter who you are or how you become a parent. If you choose to raise your child, there are people to help when you feel overwhelmed. So I pray you choose life. If you choose adoption, you are no less a parent, you are every bit a parent. You are being brave and making hard choices and sacrificing for your child. You are absolutely being a mama. Just like my first baby made me a mother even though I never met her or held her. She changed my heart.
My daughter is now seven years old. I recently told her about abortion. She knows the world is not perfect and bad things happen. But I had to explain to her that some people choose this. I didn't paint the world evil to her, but I did tell her the truth. I told her we all make bad choices and sometimes these choices are made out of desperation or fear. Sometimes we feel like there is no other way. Sometimes we are just selfish. We decided together that we should pray for the moms, just as much as the babies.
We, as a family, long for a baby to call our own. It's not the easiest thing to wish for. Because in wishing for that, it means loss and heartache for someone else, even if it is the best choice. Lord, help us all, because I am a mess with these feelings. There are so many bittersweet emotions in adoption, but no matter how you look at it, there is loss. And I understand loss. And the more I think about it, the more I pray for "our" birth mom, the more I pray that I can rest in God's perfect timing. The more I understand why so many families choose open adoption (some contact with the birth family) and the more I want to just make known to the aching world, this beautiful, redemptive, option of adoption.
Today I am praying for this opportunity. The Lord knows the desires of my heart. Even more than that I believe He placed this desire in my heart almost 25 years ago. I believe I'm on the verge of seeing this dream come true. For 25 years I have prayed, in general, for these babies. Now, I am praying for my baby. A baby that may or may not even be created yet. A baby that I have growing in my heart. A baby that I share with his or her birth family. A baby whose brave mommy is about to choose life. A baby that will get to grow up in this crazy, chaotic, fun family. A baby who will have a family forever, unconditional love, and life. A baby who will always know he/she is wanted and loved and chosen, by both his or her birth mom and by us.
I read this blog today. She's right, ya know. My family (extended included) is proof that people are not only willing but wanting, desperately desiring to adopt a baby. It takes a very courageous birth mom to choose life for her baby. An unexpected pregnancy can be scary and possibly lonely. I wish I could speak into these mama's lives to tell them they are not alone. I pray that somehow they embrace the whisper of peace the Lord offers. I pray tonight another mama chooses life.
My first baby was beautiful. I'm sure of it. Although I never held my baby, I believe he or she was created with purpose. Ten years ago this month, that baby went to be with Jesus. I still grieve that baby. Not the same way I once did. Not the same way I grieve for Thao or even my other two miscarriages. There was something about my first baby that was different. She was our only "surprise" baby. She gave us hope. She was immediately loved and is often missed. And if it weren't for her short life, her beating heart inside of me for 16 weeks, we never would have had Thao.
I cannot explain how or why events happen the way they do. I just know that God can and will allow us to see the blessings in the midst of heart ache. If there is a dear sweet mama reading this today, if you feel alone and scared and desperate, I pray that reading this gives you a glimpse of hope. I pray that you see, that you know you are anything but alone. I pray you choose life for the beating heart inside of you, the extension of your life, the tiny one depending on you, the blessing created inside of you. There are many unknowns and fears with parenting, no matter who you are or how you become a parent. If you choose to raise your child, there are people to help when you feel overwhelmed. So I pray you choose life. If you choose adoption, you are no less a parent, you are every bit a parent. You are being brave and making hard choices and sacrificing for your child. You are absolutely being a mama. Just like my first baby made me a mother even though I never met her or held her. She changed my heart.
My daughter is now seven years old. I recently told her about abortion. She knows the world is not perfect and bad things happen. But I had to explain to her that some people choose this. I didn't paint the world evil to her, but I did tell her the truth. I told her we all make bad choices and sometimes these choices are made out of desperation or fear. Sometimes we feel like there is no other way. Sometimes we are just selfish. We decided together that we should pray for the moms, just as much as the babies.
We, as a family, long for a baby to call our own. It's not the easiest thing to wish for. Because in wishing for that, it means loss and heartache for someone else, even if it is the best choice. Lord, help us all, because I am a mess with these feelings. There are so many bittersweet emotions in adoption, but no matter how you look at it, there is loss. And I understand loss. And the more I think about it, the more I pray for "our" birth mom, the more I pray that I can rest in God's perfect timing. The more I understand why so many families choose open adoption (some contact with the birth family) and the more I want to just make known to the aching world, this beautiful, redemptive, option of adoption.